Final *weep* Post

Since the beginning of this class I have found myself being challenged by the ideas of autobiography as some form of self-expression and an impulse driven act. We have discussed how others, the individual, and ourselves are driven to make confessions from a religiously historical context and the implications of that as almost a necessity within our own digital revolutions. Our discussions have reached all the way to idea of how thoughts of self improvement through personal organization and the need for an "Enterprising Self" invade into the gray areas of self analysis, the process of finding ones true self. While our course study I think has often been a bit vague and sometimes self-determined I think it forced an opening mindset of our autobiographic world. It is through our analysis that I have become eagerly conscious of my own self and actions that consist of some attempt to define and convey my"self".

Being surrounded in a media driven profession, a business that I believe partly revolves around creating sensual art for others pleasure others, affords me the opportunity to create something that will be displayed to other people, it is meant to be shared. Each and every piece, sound, video, set piece or lighting choice that I help to engineer has my name written on it, my life instilled into it. Through the information of our class I have begun to recognize others and myself in a work of art.
Within the theatre culture that I work in, I have always noticed personal style implemented in some aspect on the stage but now I begin to notice how any choice also reflects personal experiences, feelings and preferences.

Secondly I have begun to notice how our society functions through this almost self-absorbing individualistic culture. I notice more often the sharing of personal happenings and stories as a means of connecting within the over-arching culture, sub-culture, group, and personal associations. As we’ve talked about, the reasons for spilling ones own personal guts are many, including self-gratification and the attempt to fit into a judgmental society, which is what I find so interesting about the topic and how it fits into society. There are so many reasons during a single day to discuss one’s self. But I’ve lost my train of thought and don’t quite know where I’m going with that.

I will continue to find modern autobiographies and written works to be more a product of personal greed, a way for an out of date actress or over the hill football player to produce a money making product, instead of a need to tell a particularly interesting tale. But on the other hand I do approach autobiographies, whether it be Russo’s or the late Anna Nicole Smith’s, with a degree of interest as to what story they do share and it’s application to society or their own self. I’ve become interested in the publication of private diaries which were solely meant for self analysis to autobiographies as life stories which can reveal the story of a hard knock life or possibly confessions of previous actions (Ahem …Mr. Simpson).

In the end I was pleased with autobiography Pythons as it gave a good laugh as well as an extremely interesting look into the formation of self analysis and the idea of ethics and societal form to an individual. I found that, after reading closely and paying attention to possible shifts managed by the autobiography coordinator, the book was still a product of the autobiographic self and composed through deep self analysis. The stories and retrospective moments on the lives that encompassed Monty Python weave an introspective tale of human beings and their history, their own thoughts and actions.

book blog 2

So... While reading this book, I've already mentioned the fact that it was as much
biograohical as it was autobiographical, I began to ponder the idea of group biography
and where the self is located in such a method of analysis, I've already mentioned the fact
that it was as much biograohical as it was autobiographical. While it is evident that
within each page there happens to be a piece of autobiographical information usually
presented in the form of 'Name:what this particular person remembers about this topic' I
can't help but affirm that this book is just as much bio as it is autobio. The self lies
within a little phrase that is enclosed by phrases about someone else that is surrounded
by a story of a group of people. Or maybe, an idea that I find interesting, the self
is the group and, as with all of society, without those around us we, as a the self, is
nothing. I mean if you really thik about it. Any of the members of Monty Python could be
an absolute nothing without the others, living in a cardboard box without a real story to
tell. While I am refering to famous people and their potential to not become famous, I am
also refering to the idea that any single person, based on the theory of nurture over nature,
is a product of their socity so that their story is constantly interlinked with the story of
everyone else. I guess this might border along the lines of our discussion on biogaphy vs.
autobiography

Book Blog

When I first heard of The Pythons: Autobiography by the Pythons, I was
quite intrigued by the subject matter and expected quite a bit of such a book.
Although, even with the promising subject matter I worried that it would not be
atubobiographic enough for this class and that the mediator would impose a
biographic influence on the piece. This is something that we in class have
talked about on numerous occasions citing that an autobiographic text is meant
to be told about the self, by the self, and outside interference could alter what
an autobiography is supposed to be.
Fortunate enough for me within the first few pages, skipping the intro, I realized that
the book was purely a round table discussion between the Pythons. While I'm sure that
everything that was said didn't make it into the book or at some point was altered for
any number of reasons, the book got across a message straight from the comedic troupe's
mouths.

Final presentation blog post (corrected)

final presentation blog post

I had a bunch of problems uploading my document to blogger so I had to post it to google documents, minus the picures... I'll try to fix in in a couple of hours.
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dc4hr3j6_2cnt39m

A Ditigal Life

Within the technology to chronicle daily life comes the theory that we as a society and individually will be able to work harder, live faster and generally improve to the point of living, breathing, emotionalizing machines. We as people will be able to remember and self analyze every portion of our day with ease and without time restriction. I would like to point out though the idea of the computer as a crutch that holds up our lifestyles. While we record every second of our life we easily slip into a process of dependence of a system that runs our lives for us. Our enterprising self gets lost upon the need reanalyze an image or sound and the dumbing down of modern society, who needs to stay witty and sharp when you can rely on a computer to always back you up?
Take a look at this article.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20071126/sc_livescience/fakephotosalterrealmemories

While this only hints at one of the problems that were presented in the text, secured information and alteration of info, it gives the idea that with a single computer glitch our crutch can become a self deflating and misleading system.

Niklas Vollmer

I am interesting in discussing the idea of human reaction to being faced with a video camera in general. While the idea of autobiography has traditionally been thought of as a writing of memories and thoughts for general distribution, the use of a camera , a large portion of this classes informative criteria, to document life is considered voyeuristic and too prying to be comfortable with. While his film Happy Crying Nursing Home touches this subject more than Reading the Water there still exists an element of documenting someone else to describe one's self and history. With in the family, how easily did his wife or father cope with the idea of constantly being filmed. I believe I have seen a clip of HCNH that touches on the idea of men or women who may have felt the same emotions as he has felt on the issue, within both groups there was a sense of unease to express their own feelings. Did any of this have to do with the intimidation of being filmed and the negative connotations of confessing or experiencing reality within such an immediate and reflective medium.

Family Secrets

I found Annette Kuhn's analysis of the use of pictures and images through the course of family history quite amusing as well as true to the form that I have seen of the treatment of family photographs. From a single person point of view these photos are part of a historical autobiography as well as very telling about a single individual and their life during that moment. I've clipped put a couple of samples both written and noted that reflect the ideas of the use of photographs being so important to our families and ourselves.

Autobiography as De-facement

Paul De Man's piece is an interesting text based on the fact that he takes the time to extravagantly point out several of the problems that I have noticed over the past few months. I'm not saying that I agree with his observations, as I tend to mostly disagree his arguments. Since it's publishing in 1979 I figure that things have changed a bit over the years but to put things into context for modern times, and as we have seen over and over again the definition of autobiography is as such:

[f. AUTO-¹ + BIOGRAPHY n. Neither this nor any of its derivatives are in Todd 1818; only Autobiography in Craig 1847.] The writing of one's own history; the story of one's life written by himself.

We may have to take this "writing" in the most literal sense to mean a novel or book form, seeing as how de Man has applied blinders to the ideals of applying the autobiographic process to all types of medium. That aside, he states blatantly that the form of autobiography does not fit into any category , genre or mode, but merely a contract or sharing of knowledge that what is written is, in fact, a true story about one's history.
De Man rejects the idea of autobiography as a genre, in somewhat of a ridiculous notion to me, due to the idea that we could mistake all stories told as true stories. This only being caused by the fact that authors of autobiographies would abuse the use of figurative language and produce something that parallels a fake story, thereby, later in time, blurring the borders between fiction and non.
Looking to the reverse though, does not something that can be as obscure as fiction also be reduced to the idea of requiring a contract of mutual understanding that the text is not real... "so don't go out and try to jump off a building because you think you can fly."

To close I'd like to look briefly at the paragraph on pg. 922 which cites Genette and the idea that an interest in autobiography demonstrates the impossibility of allowing textual systems made up of tropological, metaphorical, substitutions to come into being. Well, to me this brings to mind an idea of a senile person writing an autobiography; within their dreams, which they tend to write about, everything appears as a metaphor. Do we have to take what is written as the truth. Maybe I've missed my point... why must autobiography stray from or deny the existence of metaphor? Can we as a culture not embrace the idea that not every word is truth and as an autobiography, written by man, must in some way always be wrong. It is only human to err...
I think I missed it again.

"The diary film, like the home movie with which it is aligned, presumes an act of documentation, if only through the preservation of the fragments of everyday life that envelopes the self."

This quote seems to parallel the video's of Sadie Benning's films that were viewed in the early sessions of this class. Much like the idea of "easy" home movies, her Sony cam thing was often directed not at the filmmaker herself but at the things that surround her and her material belongings. If I may, the camera caught the fragments of her every day life as a means of preserving as well as exhibition.

- Renov suggests the idea that the is a difference between a home video, a video diary, and an autobiographic film, I would argue that while there may be a distinguishing point of exhibition perceived, the idea of self analysis is the same for all. Does not any film act as a self documentary/video diary considering the subject is based on personal beliefs or ideas?

On "New Autobiography"

While the idea of autobiographical films are not new to this class, the techniques and visual effects of Tuesdays film seemed rather on topic, introducing a collage of manipulated, flowing images and video. Even the audio seemed rather new age and experimental which aided in producing a video that as an autobiography and as a video in general set new heights towards an viewing effectiveness.
On the other hand, the video, which seemed like an autobiography through family and history, completely numbed my mind with it's level of boredom. The filmmaker's family and historical history came through distroted and somewhat dull which brought a thought to mind: "with the idea of the necessity to confess, to what extent can one exagerate life and still proclaim it an autobiography?" While this film is not so much an exageration the visual effects are what comes across as interesting to me as the viewer and not necessarily his autobiography or any shred of an understandable story.

Panopticism

108 year old blogger

I find it quite interesting that someone at Olive Riley's age is interested in blogging or, truth be told, telling her stories to someone who will post them on the web. Mrs. Riley confesses during a filmed story that she is completely computer illiterate, but later she says that blogging has helped her cope in a world that may seem very advanced for her. The fact that the world knows about Olive Riley can be accreditted to a journalist Mike Rubbo who was at the the time of their meeting studying centurions. He has since become her blogging assistant and has taken care of actually post their conversations, her stories, and the video footage to the web.

The idea that her blog has gotten so much attention says several things for our culture today. I'll have to confess that the idea of an 108 year old woman using a computer seemed a bit far fetched to me, some kind of digital divide nonsense creapt through my head. It is interesting that someone with such a wealth of information and history has taken the time to make sure that the world knows about her own life.

The History of Sexuality

This particular section of text found fairly early in this weeks reading of Foucault's History of Sexuality struck me as interesting considering the film that we viewed this week. The father seemed to be forced into telling his story, while the son/filmmaker pried for more information. The passage explicitly say that when a confession is not spontaneous or dictated by some interval the confession is wrung out by another. Even in a peaceful society between family members this statement holds true. Are not we constantly asking the whereabouts or actions of the people around us if it hasn't already been told. Is that not how we start most conversations now? It seems rather odd that even on a basic level simple actions and ideals are always questioned, as if since the human has a mouth to speak with he should always use it to say his business.
Most of the time we don't even think of self analysis anymore since the idea of confession is so self inherent.

Nobody's Business

One thing that we as a class have not discussed yet is forced autobiographies. After watching "Nobody's Business" I thought of the earlier class discussions which covered Foucault's lectures on self analyzation and it's origins. After watching this film I understand that the filmmaker and subjects son is interested in "confessing" his origins and telling the story of his family, mostly his father's, but how could one justify a self analyzation which doesn't come from within? It does seem like this borders on the confessions of Christian faith, which were forced by the church in return for a chance at salvation. although these confessions come as more of a forced converstion between father and son. The interview acts more of a son's inquest to have a heart to heart talk with his father about his origins and life, albiet I say forced due to the nature of the father's exclaimations.
Getting back to the issue though, while I believe this borders on a biographical film, the father's telling of his own story is not an autonomous self analysis. He does not look at his past or his family's history for the sake of bringing himself closer to God or as a way to learn from past mistakes. I say that it stems from his son's search for his own history through his father. His search for a chance at self confession through his father's self analysis.

the Foucault text

Rene Descartes

PG. 3 - "various considerations about the branches of knowledge..." got it.

PG. 4 - Descartes starts his book with an ideology of what common sense, or the idea of knowledge, means to man and their opinions of themselves. It is interesting that he accepts the fact he is not the smartest man on earth and has just as much sense as every other person in the world, which makes him stand out as even more of an intellectual. At the end of the page... here comes his childhood.

PG. 6 - Dodged childhood. This book seems to be more preaching of ideology or a mthod to success via, "this is the way I did it," than anything. instead of recounting his life story so far he is recounting his ideals and opinions of life.
I like the whole "I read it all and it only made me doubt more," stuff. Seems that early on he realized a higher meaning to life.

PG. 9 - After recounting his opinions of theology, mathematics, philosophy, and other school works, he finally gets to the most autobiographic part yet... he leave school with an education. He wants to live in a world that will educate him further than another mans words... funny he then ends up writing to educate and philosophize to us... what a paradox.

PG. 28 - After skipping a couple of chapters we come to a place where Descartes is analyzing mind over body. His doubt of modern knowledge is still very present even though he himself throws his worldly education out to be absorbed.

PG. 33 - Descartes' truths are a philosophized proof of the existence of God. I'll admit that I skimmed through it loosing most of what he probably truly meant but the idea of arguing for something is pushing his thoughts towards a person in general. This is something that at the very beginning Descartes said doesn't work for true knowledge, taking the claims of another person as absolute fact. So I'll just sit on the fence for now.

The subject of Autobiography

David E. James' review of Hershman's film is interesting o he point that he attempts to explain her every decision and chioce to his audience. The is no question about the subject matter of Hershman's piece considering she elaborates her own story enough. James seems to be interested on the psychological choice in style and content of the piece. His dtails of what happened in the third portion of the film interest me, sho did not get a chance to see the third section. Refering back to my previous post and the autobiographism of telling her own story as well as displaying her growth in talent with video editing equiptment, James tells us that Hershman gets upset when the camera discontinues to work in a depressive moment for the filmmaker. This protion seems the most interesting to me considering that her two seprate storylines collide during an emotional moment for her. Not only does it show her advancing knowledge of technology and her downfalls with the film but also a.n emotional state due to the recollections of her past.

Film

Tuesday's portion of a film was most likely the most literal autobiography we have witnessed in this class. Hershman's documentation of her struggle to lose weight was an interesting, albiet somewhat bland and outdated, look into the life of the film maker. Unlike Sadie Benning, This filmmaker chose to feature herself and tell her own story which I believe is a choice based on the fact that her was a stoy almost completely based on appearances.
I tended to get lost in the outdated fades and visual effects that she used while seemingly learning about the video editing machine capabilities. This is also an autobiographical series in based on the idea that she is learning this as she works and goes through her life processing this film. This idea came to me as the screen began to spread and show multiple images of the filmmaker. She was giving more information about herself than just the dialogue that was taking place.

Autobiographics

I apreciate Leigh Gilmore's look into the autobiography itself and her insight into how sex plys a role in an auto-biographic style. Gimore points out plainly the fact that autobiography is a choice of definition to the reader, which is what I usually, at least for the course of this class, like to argue. While making a heavy point about feminism in and sex based issues in an autobiography, she clearly and concisely defines what she is refering to, autobiography. She then plunges into psycho-analyzing feminist texts and comparing them to the likes of St. Augustine's Confessions and the background of femine texts as compared to that of their male counterparts. Of course historically female texts weren't widely accepted so the art of autobiography is somewhat new in a sense which helps this text make a little more sense to me.

That video that we watched.

I can't quite remember the name of creator of the second film we watched Tuesday afternoon but It seemed to be the first film so far that really got to me, that I understood. Her style of breaking down her life into into chapters with themes of virtues or emotions helped in following a seemingly disjointed film with sporadic imagery. Although, like Sadie Benning's films, I sometimes grow tired of masturbatory imagery for the sake of seeing distorted pictures on a screen. I understand that this process and believe that these filmmakers artistic metaphors are perfect in an autobiographic film. It's these people telling their own stories that will feature a feel that they insert into it. I loved the narrated parts and even the typing of the letter provided a stark contrast to the silent images that roamed the screen. Her story of her childhood was interesting as she fell victim to a pair of parents that seemed defunct.

Saint Augustine Confessions

I'm just going to try something new so that I don't fall asleep while reading this... It's more like a real-time blog type thing.

Pg. 21: After reading the first page I had to make sure that this is the text I was supposed to read. So far this praise to God has nothing to do with an autobiography and seems more like a preachers sermon.

Pg. 25: Saint Augustine's confessions to God barely fits anything resembling an autobio. I love the philosophy of God and his wishes as well as the theory of his religious ideals but this text is merely a letter to God expressing his own understanding and praise. This direct conversation written to God has barely done more than express the views of the author. He even speculates on his own childhood based on his encounters of babies.

Pg. 30: Finally, we have reached generalizing about his own life and childhood. He has begun to go in depth about growing up and discussing his goal in life. He recounts how respect from others is what he is told is important in life. The further he goes into his life the more detailed he gets whilst still talking to God. Obviously, his purpose is to reflect his knowledge of how God desires man or specifically himself to live onto his audience, God.

Pg. 35: St. Augustine seems to look back at his childhood with a sense that he wishes he would have been then like he is now. He still spouts theological philosophy, which at least for me detracts from the idea of this being an auto biography and more of a confession... there is a difference. The intention of this text is not to breakdown the authors life but merely an example to the God of how he understands his own religion.

Pg. 41: Gives the final closing for this chapter and institutes for one last time that his life is owed to God and that he wishes forgiveness and understanding from him. Going back to my previous post, six pages ago, this text does not demonstrate an attempt at an autobiography. St. Augustine is not recounting his life for the purpose of justly telling his own story. He is staying true to his intention of speaking with God to demonstrate his acceptance of him and his quest for forgiveness.

If I write an autobiography can "I" read it?

Eakin's argument about a singular contributor to an auto biography completely confused me as well as incited a deep need to be overly facetious about his pro-multi personality psychological review. I saw a line early on in the text that made me think about standing in front of a mirror and how this equals multiple "I"s. From there he goes on a rampage through psychology-ville which is completely lost on my tiny brain. I got really caught up in the "socially based self hood" which to me means putting on a different face for various groups of people, friends, and family. And then came a list... "ecological self," interpersonal self," the private self," and so on.
It's all really interesting although I tend to disagree with the whole premise of the article. Sure, people demonstrate slight (or major) multiple personalities or "selves" but that doesn't mean that an auto biography is not written by a single person who has complete control and even the knowledge of their own multiple selves... I mean I know that if I ever wrote an autobiography I sure would consider the fact that I can act completely different to various people.
Truthfully, the one hand that writes an autobiography is attached to a singular person therefore it is an autobiography in my book... unless its a Siamese twin.

Steven Johnson's blog is a generic blog based on the commercialization of himself and career. He pulls you in with a little information about himself and kids, you begin to think oh, how cute he's talking about his kids. He ten carefully begins to pull the consumer in as you scroll down the page. His posts about his book is a self congradulation that throws all of the attention to his own products and books.

Internet: Created for people to socialize and confess

"Blogging in the post−9/11 period closed the gap between Internet and society.
Whereas dot−com suits dreamt of mobbing customers flooding their
e−commerce portals, blogs were the actual catalysts that realized worldwide
democratization of the Net." - Geert Lovink

While reading this last article of the week I had to stop and read this line a couple times. The idea that the internet has become a tool solely based on the interaction and communication is true in many ways. Between blogging, video blogging, instant messaging an e-mails, the internet has become the bulletin board to the world. With this simple thought regurgitated, why, in a world of identity theft, scary internet stalkers, and just random evildoers, do people feel comfortable sharing and confessing their lives in text, film, and audio? Why does Joe Brown from mid-America feel compelled to post an autobiographical blog about his day to day life? Is the satisfaction we feel after posting such information truely that satisfying? And who takes the time to read Joe's blog after it's written? Or does that even matter? Joe's blog may never be read but the simple idea that they're out there, out of his mind makes him rest easier at night. I guess I really can't grasp the idea of confessing my "sins", random thoughts, or daily happenings online.

Michael Renov's ideas about the death of the auto biography seem to follow in the same vein of Bruss's with the idea of internet archiving and blogging. His idea of a mass produced auto biography sets, premade blog pages and web rings producing multi user/creater biographies fits well with the idea that films cannot be made by a singular person. His arguements, while on the surface may seem logical, dig at a population who are carried by thier comsumer background into purchasing kits and using pre-designed layouts. He seems to ignore the idea that the act of creating an autobiography is piggy-backing of someone else's idea, therefore whether mentioned or not, the person who first wrote an autobiography must recieve some credit in an autobiography written in modern day. If you want to get down to brass tacks where is the special thanks to the person who crafted an autobiograoher's pencil or typewriter. Renov's article, like Bruss' predates an age of You-Tube and a small technology minded population that has the capabilities to produce their own pages and films that are posted on the internet. An internet that may have been created by the Department of Defense but now exist in a free forming computer space mass, much like a large physical library that houses Benjamin Franklin's own leather bound autobiography.

On ON CANNIBALISM

After watching Fatimah Tobing Rony's, On Cannibalism, I easily begin to understand why Elizabeth Bruss could form an opinion about the death of the autobiography in a film medium. The short six minute film seemed to be a conglomeration of Rony's own thoughts and life as well as a history lesson about her ancestors and family. With the content being 50% about her own life I would definately be under the opinion that this is not an autobiography but more of a filmaker's opinion of history, racism and stereotypes based on personal opinion. The also enforced the one idea of Bruss's that seemed to stick with me; this film wasn't made by one person. This film seemed to have a small group producing this film that often featured Rony on camera, leaving an unseen person behind the camera and physically making the film. Unlike Sadie Benning's films, which at the very least seem to be filmed completely solo, Rony's film includes a plethora of people separating it from the autos.

hypermediacy

The phrase of the day: "like TV only better," seems maybe a bit too shallow in the terms that it's looked at. The article, "The Double Logic of Remediation," gives a good point to the fact that all media new and old, TV or print, are competing for the edge in the media race today. All of the companies are caught in a constant rat race of trying to out-do the other. The idea has gotten so ridiculous that when I get bored I can pull out my cell phone and at my finger tips is an multitude of games, clips, and audio of large studio's storied hits. I would say that I disagree though that every one's trying to look like a modification of the TV or it's networks. While companies do cross pollinate their web and television and other media sources with each other to broaden their listening base, I would say that these networks must distinguish each aspect of itself as something better than the other forcing these pieces (television, web, radio) to get further and further away from each other in likeness. Networks realize that everything can't be TV and TV will only be TV never better than itself.

Girl Power

Girl power didn't necessarily strike me as "the perfect name" for Sadie Benning's short autobiographical film. The film depicts Benning's adolescent and childhood years as she grew up learning no fear and little reality in a home that seems cold and meaningless for her as a youth. The film strikes me as a reaction and tribute to the one thing she had to rely on as she grew up. the TV. Benning's film contains many pieces of footage that would have effected her as she grew up. Even her own imaginative world that she describes is built off of the things and people she would view on television. The style or look of the film also strikes me as a tribute to an older b&w television set she may once have watched. I do believe that after editing her film together she recorded it off of a television set to give it a fuzzy analog television feel. Benning's girl power is nothing more than the imagination of one girl who is hooked on the boob tube.