Final *weep* Post

Since the beginning of this class I have found myself being challenged by the ideas of autobiography as some form of self-expression and an impulse driven act. We have discussed how others, the individual, and ourselves are driven to make confessions from a religiously historical context and the implications of that as almost a necessity within our own digital revolutions. Our discussions have reached all the way to idea of how thoughts of self improvement through personal organization and the need for an "Enterprising Self" invade into the gray areas of self analysis, the process of finding ones true self. While our course study I think has often been a bit vague and sometimes self-determined I think it forced an opening mindset of our autobiographic world. It is through our analysis that I have become eagerly conscious of my own self and actions that consist of some attempt to define and convey my"self".

Being surrounded in a media driven profession, a business that I believe partly revolves around creating sensual art for others pleasure others, affords me the opportunity to create something that will be displayed to other people, it is meant to be shared. Each and every piece, sound, video, set piece or lighting choice that I help to engineer has my name written on it, my life instilled into it. Through the information of our class I have begun to recognize others and myself in a work of art.
Within the theatre culture that I work in, I have always noticed personal style implemented in some aspect on the stage but now I begin to notice how any choice also reflects personal experiences, feelings and preferences.

Secondly I have begun to notice how our society functions through this almost self-absorbing individualistic culture. I notice more often the sharing of personal happenings and stories as a means of connecting within the over-arching culture, sub-culture, group, and personal associations. As we’ve talked about, the reasons for spilling ones own personal guts are many, including self-gratification and the attempt to fit into a judgmental society, which is what I find so interesting about the topic and how it fits into society. There are so many reasons during a single day to discuss one’s self. But I’ve lost my train of thought and don’t quite know where I’m going with that.

I will continue to find modern autobiographies and written works to be more a product of personal greed, a way for an out of date actress or over the hill football player to produce a money making product, instead of a need to tell a particularly interesting tale. But on the other hand I do approach autobiographies, whether it be Russo’s or the late Anna Nicole Smith’s, with a degree of interest as to what story they do share and it’s application to society or their own self. I’ve become interested in the publication of private diaries which were solely meant for self analysis to autobiographies as life stories which can reveal the story of a hard knock life or possibly confessions of previous actions (Ahem …Mr. Simpson).